How to Find Your Way Back to Yourself
Be yourself, be who you want, and love yourself. But what does this really mean?
What does it mean to be yourself when you’ve spent all your time face down in your laptop writing social media posts, keeping up with content, your team and helping clients?
When you’ve spent the last few years immersed in diapers, meals and squeezing in a few quiet moments in the bathroom before someone notices you’re missing.
What does it mean when you’re in a rotating cycle of home life, homeschooling, working at your job or running your business and trying to keep yourself and those you love alive simultaneously?
Who even are you?
We’re taught from a very early age that fitting in and following the rules helps us stay in a place where others like us. If we follow the rules, make good grades and are good at something, we get attention and praise, which gets us seen. It creates a sense of belonging and validation.
In the midst of this, we can lose what it is we REALLY LIKE, what we REALLY THINK and what we REALLY WANT.
Our opinions get left behind. We intentionally make it a point to not stand out too much. To cause too much of a difference. We don’t want others to think we’re weird. This means we adapt and take on others’ beliefs and opinions—likes, dislikes and, eventually, thoughts.
When we begin to do all the things the same,
we can start to believe all the things too.
So, who am I now? What does it mean and look like to be me? Who am I when??? Who am I if???
Becoming aware
An article from Better Help mentions that self-awareness can help you stay aligned with your values, beliefs and aspirations. The wonderful thing is that it starts with us starting to be aware.
We go through seasons in life; we change, our beliefs may shift, and our likes, dislikes, friends and colleagues may change. What we want, our goals and our perspective on life, success and purpose will change.
To practice being yourself means understanding and learning about what you like and don’t like and falling in love with what you enjoy and who you are right now. Loving yourself starts with liking yourself. In the article Love Thyself More, I talk about finding that part of yourself again. Loving yourself means honoring what you believe and feel even when it evolves and changes.
Liking, and ultimately, loving yourself takes us back to the basics of who we are, which is an essential guidepost in all we do.
The Truth
Discovering who we are and how to be ourselves is as much about revisiting what we like, what we enjoy and what we believe. It’s also wrestling with the fear that others won’t like who we are when we’re ourselves. They may mock us. Quit being friends with us. Judge us.
How to be YOU more and more each day
Honesty. Practice being honest in what you say when you’re around others or online. What do you really want to say? If it feels too hard to say exactly what you want, say part of it.
Get to know yourself. Write out what you enjoy. Mention such things as what do you like to do when you’re alone? What books and movies do you like, and what makes you smile? What breathes life into you, as you? Not as a role in your life but as you. Need a boost to get started? Check out the Love Thyself More blog for a technique to discover what you enjoy during this season of your life. To dive even deeper, after each day or week go back and make a small list of the things you enjoyed.
Practice. From childhood to adulthood, we’re constantly filled with ideas of how we’re supposed to be, what we should think, how to act and what to say and do. Practice not thinking about it as much and diluting yourself. You’ll discover more about who you are and how freeing it is to evolve with who you’re becoming.
Everyone. Everyone has things in their life and business that they wrestle with. We all have doubts from time to time, sometimes more often than others, and it’s okay. One way to feel less doubt is by comparing yourself to others. If you start to compare yourself – ask yourself why you’re comparing. What do they seem to have that you don’t? What do you have that they may not? Why do you feel as if you aren’t enough right now, and they are?
Help Others. When we are ourselves and show our quirkiness, the uniqueness of who we are, the more it helps others to be who they are. When we are each unique, it allows each one of us to expand one another.
Progression. Work to be open to mistakes and be a work in progress. Practicing being yourself seems odd to write, but it’s true. Practice saying something that may seem hard to say. Practice starting a conversation if you like to talk but don’t know what to say.
Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Walking new ground is a journey, self-discovery is a journey. Imperfectly practicing who you are and finding the sweet spot means giving yourself grace through the process.
It’s not about getting it right, it’s about enjoying your experience along the way.
Give yourself space to mess it up. Surround yourself with people that care about you, support and encourage you. Find safe spaces to talk openly and feel your way through the hard stuff. And, most importantly, care for yourself. Take a walk, get a massage, meditate, journal or schedule yourself a Reiki session.
Discovering how to be you during this season of your life, in this part of your business, is a full experience we get to live over and over again. It takes time and patience, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t have all the answers right away.
With Love,
PS: Reiki is a great way to gain clarity, release heavy feelings and connect back to yourself. Session offerings are here. Take a look and see what resonates for you.