4 Steps to Being Who You Want to Be
It’s time to call out the elephant in the room. HOW? How do you become who you want to be in 2023 when you have layers upon layers of responsibilities, expectations and information coming at you to change and be something different? When you compare your life, business and who you are to the happy snapshots that repeatedly show up in your feeds on social media?
My friend, we do it differently.
While it isn’t always the intention, marketing ads, programs, courses and self-development support give us this underlying feeling that we should change to feel this. . .to be that. . .and to do that. It can provide us with this unspoken thought that we aren’t good enough how we are, and changing will fix it.
Chasing the desire to feel this. . .to be that. . .and to do that can easily help us get off our purpose path. It can sway our beliefs and make us second guess ourselves and question our opinions. We can get so caught up in shifting that we lose ourselves. We begin to spin, not knowing what we think, believe or feel anymore. Not knowing what’s good for us, what feels aligned and what we believe is best.
Change can be inspirational and necessary to help us get to our next season in life. It can be another layer to our foundation and bring joy to our life.
Be Who YOU Want to Be.
Being curious and constantly questioning the persuasion can help us recenter and ensure that the change we seek and support we seek align with who we want to be. It’s taking us down our path instead of in a different direction that doesn’t feel so good. I advocate for taking your path, getting off the path and even creating your own path when necessary but not for the sake of sacrificing anything about ourselves.
Psychology Today mentions that we have the freedom to change the roles we have. So, where is your starting point?
The Four Step Action Plan that Changes it all.
STEP ONE: Who You Are Right Now
Your starting point.
Get real with yourself, I mean the kind of rawness that has no filters, no boundaries and calls it like it is kind of real! The real that’s purely you with no wrong answers. The beautiful, the scary, the shameful and guilty, the confident pieces of you and the numb parts too! If you need some inspo check out how to love thyself and how to find your way back to yourself. SO GOOD!
STEP TWO: What do you REALLY want?
My friend, what’s important to you??
Create personal pillars for your life and pillars for your business.
What are the non-negotiables?
What do you want in your everyday life?
What do you want in your business?
What will you give everything up for?
What comes first, second and third?
STEP THREE: Let go. . .for now.
Next is letting go of everything else that doesn’t make it in your pillars. Maybe it’s not right now, maybe later, or perhaps it’s removing it entirely. Calming down all the noise and chaos of the other things you want but aren’t crucial to you right now in this season. Filter it all out and narrow your focus more. Clear spaces let good energy move around!
STEP FOUR: Let’s plan it out baby!
Before you start, I’m going to gently but loudly remind you that. . .
This is YOUR plan. It does not need to match anyone else’s.
Planning can make us stuck and stay in the same place. Keep this simple. Keep it focused.
- This plan has to fit in with the other roles and responsibilities you play in your life. For the most part, it has to dance well with everything else.
Next, we’re going to get super real with what it will take to evolve from the you reading this right now, to the you that you want to be.
To figure this out, take each pillar and answer the following questions. . .
Have flexibility in my life to be with my kids
What will have to happen to make this pillar come to life?
Who can support you? How?
How can you support yourself?
What could be the hard part of making this happen?
How will you feel when this becomes part of your day to day life?
What does it mean when you reach it? How will you feel, how often will it show up. . . what’s the result?
STEP FIVE: 3,2,1 ACTION!
Planning is a waste of time if action doesn’t follow.
The reality is. . .
Action can stop us dead in our tracks. It’s where fear really gets a loud voice and wants you to stop. It’s where we have a choice to breathe life into the fear and keep it alive or breathe life into our mission while still knowing the fear is there. It’s where momentum is born.
There isn’t a specific timeline or pace you need to follow other than keep moving forward. Big steps, baby steps or shuffle steps.
The action plan has to flow with your life; the goal isn’t to add more stress, so plan realistically.
When you make your action plan, consider. . .
What else you have going on. How can you make this a smoother dance between what you already have and what you’re bringing in?
Be realistic with your time and realistic with yourself.
- This isn’t about proving something to yourself. This is about sprinkling more of what you want and who you want to be into each and every day, how you want to feel. Relationships you want to keep. How you want to show up.
This has nothing to do with anyone else but you.
The art of taking action. . .
Start with each pillar and make a plan of small steps you can take to reach the goal. Reverse engineer it and work backwards if that helps. The key here is small steps to reach your pillar. It’s a small change to work toward a habit. Remember this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon to work towards your pillar.
How can you implement a small step into each day, each week, each month? What does that look like?
How can you keep this front and center so you stay on track?
How will you keep yourself accountable and motivated?
What checkpoints can you put in place from step to step to make sure these pillars still align with who you want to be?
How will you know when you’ve reached it?
Remember to stay aligned and check in with yourself as you walk this path of transformation. It doesn’t have to be a grand event for others. The purpose is to make this life changing for YOU. Honoring and loving yourself now while embracing and feeling ridiculously excited for the YOU to come. Keep this simple and for you.
Help to Get you Started.
I’ll close this out with some examples of how you could apply the above steps:
Example One:
Personal pillar: I want to feel more awake and have more energy with my kids while also being focused in my business.
The truth: I stay up late at night and I know it makes me tired the next day.
The small change: It’s not drastic like going to bed two hours earlier. Maybe it starts out at 30 minutes earlier, maybe it starts with no phone one hour before bed. Maybe it’s dimming the lights and getting ready for bed earlier.
- Action: Create a plan to go to bed 15 or 30 minutes earlier each week until you’re consistently asleep one hour earlier and feel more focused and happier each day without a 3pm crash.
Example Two:
- Personal pillar: Connect with more entrepreneurs in your area – find your tribe of friends that also own businesses.
The small change: Look for networking groups in your area that fit with your schedule.
Action: Put the networking group on your calendar that sounds fun, RSVP, attend the event and reach out afterwards to deepen the connection.
Feel more confused than when you started? I’m your girl! All of this is my PB&J! Finding gaps in a business and creating pillars with a simple, unique action plan is my fire. Find out how we can connect on my services page.
I believe in you,
