The Reality Check
Call it for what it is and figure out what to do about it
We naturally evolve as we go through the seasons of our lives and business. Our beliefs, skills, outlook, thoughts and feelings change which is all wonderful in itself, right? When it get’s sticky is when we keep our life and business the same because it feels safe, comfortable and consistent instead of shifting to reflect how we’ve grown.
Eventually, a divide happens and your business and life are no longer aligned with who you have become. When we aren’t aligned we feel uneasy, confused and scared.
Let’s get real honest, in a raw way, about what our reality is RIGHT NOW and get our life and business in alignment, shall we?
When our life and business are in chaos and in a constant struggle for our attention it’s hard to breathe, focus and make calibrated decisions. It can be hard to know what we really want or what the next best step is. We feel defeated and down right frustrated that this season looks like this. I mean really? Shouldn’t I know what I’m doing by now? Don’t I know better?
The reality is, it’s tiring to balance all the things that need done in our business, in our lives and when we don’t get it all done shame, disappointment, and resentment show up.
The urge to throw our hands up and walk away is real.
Once we unpack the experiences, feelings, emotions and challenges it allows us to see them for what they are and set them free. Once free, we can feel free to explore the what now? There is space, peace and excitement once again. There is room to breathe.
When we have room to breathe it’s easier to see clearer and have a calmer approach. Our natural born ability is to breathe, it’s the first thing we do when we come into this world. It connects us to nature, it connects us to our bodies and brings in a natural state of being.
Hustle + white knuckle = more success and a higher status
I call BS. Let’s pause instead of push. When we sit in stillness with ourselves it’s easier to see why our life and business is how it is.
Pause, sit quietly and in silence. . .with yourself. Yep, you read that right, with yourself. When we take all the noise away, the tugging, the responsibilities, the places to be and things to do and get quiet – we connect with ourselves again. When we’re busy and in the hustle and bustle it’s easy to get out of touch with what we really feel, want and believe. Our thoughts, beliefs and desires can get compromised by all the information coming at us.
When we tune out the chaos, the talking, noise, expectation and filling all the roles we have in our lives it gives us a chance to sit in stillness. It gives us a chance to get curious, to listen and to connect. With practice this helps us become in tune with how we’re feeling and what’s triggering us. It allows us space to create solutions that align with who we are.
The resistance is real.
When we aren’t in alignment with what we truly want to do or what feels good we naturally fight with resistance. When we’re resisting. . .
- things are harder than they may be otherwise
- we’re unclear and make choices and decisions that may not serve us in the best way
- it keeps us in a reactive mode instead of moving forward intentionally
In short – we’re disconnected – simply living to live. Going through the motions, checking the boxes to meet the standards and make it through the day.
If we decide to slow down it gives us clarity to. . .
- look at what’s happening in our life and business in an honest way
- begin sorting through what we want and don’t want
- ultimately decide what we want our reality to look like instead
Scary – maybe for a while. Vulnerable – probably. Freeing – YES.
As scary as it might be to slow down it creates space for us to look at our life and business as a whole. We can shift, move, transition and let go of what isn’t working, keep what is and then create space for more of what we want.
Letting go
It doesn’t always mean you have to let it all go, throw your hands up and walk away entirely(I mean you could, if that’s what you want to do. No pressure or judgment here.).
Beginning to release what is no longer working could mean. . .
- removing the pressure of supposed-to’s and should-be-doing’s
- no longer controlling as many things as you are now
- exposing the raw truth to allow reality to breathe and be seen for what it is
If we don’t let the truth be seen, bring our feelings, emotions and day-to-day to the surface they seep through in other ways. We don’t serve ourselves and we don’t serve anyone else. Let’s bring it all out, call it how it is and decide what to do about it.
What could happen?
What could happen if you shifted your life and business to line up with who you are now, what you want and what you know? To line up with how you feel, what you believe and what you’ve experienced?
When you let go . . .
- begin to trust and rely on your own judgment again
- increase your confidence and faith in yourself
- begin to believe you really can feel good and begin to want that more
- become aware of what you want and don’t want and get in tune with how you feel faster
- create an environment of slowing down
- invite in boundaries that support you
When we get a taste of how liberating it is to let go and become aware of why we’re feeling the way we do we make choices that light us up. We feel safe, and even excited to open our hearts and minds to ideas that serve us in a bigger way.
Permission Granted
There’s always a choice. Room for transition, room for another option. If you let it go and it doesn’t work or feel good, bring it back.
If you change it and it still doesn’t work like you wish, change it more. There are no 100% right answers here other than what feels good for you based on where you are right now.
To get started. . .
Become aware of how you’re feeling during the day.
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- what were you feeling
- what were you doing when you felt that way
- is it 100% necessary to keep in your life or business?
Make a list.
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- What can you shift so you feel better?
- What feels amazing and could do more of?
- What would it look like to let go of what frustrates the hell out of you?
Decide.
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- What will you keep?
- What will you let go of?
- What do you want instead?
Check-in with yourself as you play, adjust and pivot as needed.
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- How are you feeling inside?
- How are you feeling physically?
- What does your day and week look like now?
- How is your decision making and productivity?
- Are you feeling brighter, lighter and fulfilled?
Creating change, ruffling feathers and not going with the flow of what we’re used to or doing what everyone else is doing can be intimidating.
You are worthy of having a life that lights you up.
There’s no reason to live a life that serves someone else more than it serves you. Be different. Set the stage. Be willing to be the change you want to see in the world.