The Four Step Method To An Easier Flow Every Day

I’m going to walk you through flipping the narrative of looking from the outside in and show you how to focus on the inside so each area of your life has a flow that makes more sense for everyone’s well being. 

From early childhood teachings to high scale business experts, we’ve been encouraged to focus on how presentable we are on the outside over how much time we dedicate to our inner self health, the behind-the-scenes activity of our business and our overall happiness within.

It seemed to be a great idea to quickly run through the car wash on my way to the office. If you’re like me, my work time is valuable and I want all the time I can get. As I looked around on the inside surveying all the reminders from our lake vacation it hit me how dirty the inside of my car actually was. Traveling with kids is no joke. The sand, Legos and bits of crumbs from every.single.thing they had eaten along the way were glaring at me. Not to mention the mud and dirt from the rain.

That’s when it hit me.  Aside from time, why am I only going to focus on the outside of this rolling mess?  I ride on the inside and see the outside less. Why would I put my attention on the part that is public facing more than the part that I’m in all the time?   

It’s so common to naturally focus on the outside, the external facing view more than the inside. How we get ready and show up by the clothes we wear, if they fit right, our hair, our make-up, our jewelry, painted toes and nails, our wrinkles, cellulite, physically fit . . the list goes on and on. The kicker is we are closer to our thoughts, our emotions and our internal dialogue than what we see of ourselves from the outside.

I didn’t plan to spend 45 minutes cleaning my car out. My work time is precious to me, and I guard it very carefully but so is how I feel. How we feel on the inside ripples into how we show up on the outside. It ripples into how much we get done and how well it’s done, what we say, what decisions we make and how we support our families and lead our business.  Greater Good Magazine says it well “well-being—either being in a positive mood or recognizing that you have a good life—benefits those in our social sphere, whether we’re talking about our families, workplaces, schools, or society at large. When we’re happy, we’re better relationship partners, more kind and helpful in our communities, and more productive in our workplaces.”  Taking care of ourselves on the inside directly affects everything on the outside.

So instead of washing just the outside, I spent time on the inside. And, you know what, my car felt better to drive because it felt SO good on the inside!

I’m going to challenge you to look at this differently and increase your focus on the inside of you first. 

• How are you feeling, what do you desire, what do you miss, what do you want? 
• What’s important to you, what feels good and feels terrible?
• What do you believe, what motivates you, what excites you?
• What feels hard and what feels right and completely easy? 
• What do you appreciate and love about yourself?

I challenge you to spend time grooming the inside, that sacred place where you spend the most time, to care for yourself as you care for others.  Yes, mama, I’m looking at you!  In a recent article published on Oprah Daily it suggests we experience more joy, make better decisions, build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively when we practice self-care activities.  What comes alive in you when there are fewer distracting moments and more stillness?  Does this space feel good or does the quiet feel uncomfortable? 

This also bleeds into our business. We spend a lot of time and money on how our business looks from the outside. Social media, emails, blogs, websites, videos, client experience and our headshots – to make sure it’s branded, the messaging is on point, it flows and it’s in sync.

But, what about inside your business? The organization, productivity, team morale, systems, cash flow and client retention.  Some questions you could ask yourself could be: 

• What’s it really like to be a team member?  A client? 
• What’s it like to work on client work or to make your products?
• What do your deliverables look like from A-Z?
• What is your revenue from month-to-month, are you in the red or the black and why?
• How much does this slow you down and reduce your quality of work?

You’re making it harder on yourself and easier on others. It needs to be the other way around first. It has to start with you. We’re not shooting for perfection. The truth is, when it works smoother on the inside it creates this magical environment of stability, productivity, happiness and flow. The outside then comes together much, much easier and I say this because I’ve lived it.  I’ve been a pleaser to everyone but myself, you can read more about that on my About page.  So, mama, let’s no longer agree to do this backwards.

Because every area of your life flows into the next your home is also an important equation here. There are many ways to look at this but for simplicity let’s look at the obvious internal v. external of our homes.

In our life my husband does well at keeping our grass mowed and our landscaping nice and presentable on the outside of our house. For this I am thankful. As a homeschool family, even in between events and activities, we do spend more time together at home meaning we don’t see our house from the outside as much as we see it from the inside. We do hang out outside a lot, but this doesn’t equal the amount of time we’re inside. Plus, there’s sleeping. Sleep is a crucial time for our bodies to heal and process so it’s important that our homes reflect a space that gives us ease and peace. The feeling of the home, not only the physical space is important. How does your home feel when you walk into it? What do you see? What emotions come up? Does your home flow based on the structure of your days and the time you spend inside of it? Does the furniture make sense, could it be organized differently, does it make sense based on your interests? Does it fit the family and the activities? Do the inner workings work?

This could be your health, home, school, you or your business. 

Where’s the messiness?  If we’re sticking with the car wash theme, let’s look beyond the first level of dirt. We’re not only cleaning surface level, we’re cleaning the dashboard AND under the seats. 

Where does it get messy or unstable?  What parts feel undone or broken?  Where is there stress?  What emotions come up for you (and others, if it applies)?  Where do things sway and no longer flow well?  What causes the downward spin from good to not so good?  Why does it take longer than usual to complete the task? What sparks turmoil? 

This is the part where we figure out the best tools to use to clean up what we see. We wouldn’t use a towel to try to pick up the small bits of food from the floorboard, right?  It would take forever, be REALLY frustrating and not very effective. So, let’s start simple. Here are some questions to ask yourself: 

• What small moves could you make so this area flowed better? 
• What could you put in place so it feels a bit better, is easier to complete or saves more time?  
• How could you get more time to yourself without having to work harder?  
• Who could you hire to help you purge, organize and put processes in place that help you save time? 

Here’s where we pull the tools out and put plans into motion.  WE CLEAN.  We take the steps to make the internal more tidy, work at a better pace, and feel more predictable.  We iron out the details of a task to create a process that can be used over and over again.  We move school supplies around in our home so they’re available to your kiddos and you can prep less.  You set a boundary to protect your personal quiet time and no longer waiver on how important it is to you. 

Ladies, I want to be clear that none of the above means you need to tackle all the areas in a short amount of time.This process is about ease, flow and successful shifts. It’s not about perfection, adding way more to do your to list(NONE of us need or want that) or more stress. It’s a revolving and evolving work in progress.

We’re working towards a “cleaner” space so you feel the beauty within. Whether that’s you feeling better inside, easier days juggling kids and school or nurturing a blooming business that continues to evolve into a beautiful piece of art that you love sharing with the world.

Stumped at how to move forward?  Click on the chat box below and send me a message so we can talk through it.